For the past 7 years, our neighborhood has held a 4th of July celebration that has turned into quite the celebration. We start around 3 with a swim party that moves on to a kids parade, face painting, parent’s relay, BBQ, fireworks display and so on…..It’s a fun event, and each year I have one job….the grill. It is not unusual to have 50 burgers and 20 hot dogs on the grill at a time, and evidently I’m the only person in the neighborhood who can flip that many burgers without freaking out. I’m totally anal about getting the grill marks just right…..it’s just my thing.
The party is held at our neighbor’s home, because they have a pool in the back and a flat yard in the front, and I have neither. Everyone brings a side dish and we all chip in for the BBQ, etc.
So, today i woke up and started preparations for the party. My husband invited extra guests, so I wanted t make sure that there were enough side dishes to cover them, so I started early in the morning. First thing I had to do was clean the kitchen, including cleaning out my fridge because it was one of those chores I meant to do before my surgery that I didn’t get to. Now with guests bringing (possible) side dishes, I had to make room.
I was feeling fine, so I started making banana cake and potato salad. I also found a recipe for Serendipity’s frozen Hot Chocolate, so I made up a batch that would be ready to go when the kids got out of the pool. Then, of course, I had to clean the kitchen again! By now I was kind of tired, so I went down for a cat nap before I showered and got ready for the party.
By the time the party came around, I was buzzing around getting our guests drinks and running back and forth between houses trying to help with the set up of the party….all those last minute utensils, decorations, etc.
I was feeling fine, except when I walked too fast, which made my incisions whisper a bit at me. But I just kept busy while everyone marveled “Wow! I can’t believe you are moving so well! You’re amazing! Modern medicine is a miracle……etc” Everyone was chastising me to sit down and relax, and I really tried to, but that’s just not what I do well. I like being the go-to mom who hustles and bustles. I even turned on the grill and tried to BBQ, but my husband swooped in and made me sit down. “My turn” he said, which was adorable…..I honestly NEVER see him grilling. It’s a joke in my family that I grill…..but that’s a whole other blog…..
Parenting books always tell you not to criticize the new father when he picks up the baby and takes on any responsibility. That means that if the diaper is on backwards and Daddy is spoon feeding baby food to the baby’s ass, you say NOTHING….or else you are just feeding into the idea that he is useless, and he’ll never offer to help and it will be your fault…..So, I sat back and said nothing while he grilled the burgers. I sat on my hands and my tongue, and didn’t even crack a joke (which is a miracle for me). And guess what? They turned out BEAUTIFUL!! I didn’t even check the grill marks….
So, I sit and visit, and go back to my house a few times for various things (drinks, bathroom breaks, kid stuff) and I never really sit down for another 30 minutes or so. By the time I sit, the grass looks like it is spinning a bit, and I’m feeling queasy. This is why I avoided sitting for so long….I was afraid of how I’d feel when I finally did.
So, I toughed it out, feeling spacey and unsociable for the most part. This is when my husband’s ex-wife stops by, just to say hi (note that she has never lived in our neighborhood, but always manages to stop by whenever we have a function…..that’s a whole other blog!) along with a nephew I haven’t socialized with in years, and it all became a bit too “This is Your Life” for me……
So, long story short, I retired before a single firework went off, but I felt good about contributing to the party and being there for most of it. The frozen hot chocolate never got made, but it’s in the fridge ready for the next hot day as a pool treat for the kids (we actually had a cool 4th this year: overcast and threatening to rain the whole time).
And I learned that you CAN teach an old dog new tricks!! That’s what I call independence!!
